07 Jun 2016 16:44:09
This was on the Telegraph live update webpage on Zlatan joining Manchester United. Not sure how reliable it is but I thought that I would share it.

Zlatan to Man Utd

3:14 pm Player arrives for United medical By which I mean Eric Bailly, the £30m-rated Ivorian defender from Villarreal. United doctors checking he's in decent nick will discover a bullish 22-year-old with great athleticism. All the better to be nutmegged in training every day by Zlatan.

1.) 07 Jun 2016
07 Jun 2016 19:04:51
Frankly, I'm getting a little p***ed off with Zlatan's little teases. I enjoy a joke, but am I alone in thinking he is beginning to border on the disrespectful?
He is going down in my estimation day by day. If he is planning to keep this up until end of the Euros, I don't think I would want him here.

2.) 07 Jun 2016
07 Jun 2016 19:25:35
Zlatan once turned up late for training, the manager punished all the other players for coming in early.

3.) 07 Jun 2016
07 Jun 2016 19:45:14
When Alexander bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from zlatan.

4.) 07 Jun 2016
07 Jun 2016 19:54:45
I'm sure he will apologise for frustrating you when he signs dw
Just relax things will happen when they happen.
I don't think anybody even the best informed reporters know much about what United are up to so it's not worth your while trying to figure it out.

5.) 07 Jun 2016
07 Jun 2016 20:05:32
Bare in mind nothing is, signed so he can't say he is coming to us. he is merely answering questions in a Zlatan type way.
It's why we want him. just be patient.

6.) 07 Jun 2016
07 Jun 2016 20:13:38
Zlatan once kicked a horse in the chin. It's descendants were called giraffes.

7.) 07 Jun 2016
07 Jun 2016 19:10:48
You'll find that hard to say when you have the first decent striker UTD will have had in years, honestly he will be the signing of the season- even better considering he's free.

8.) 07 Jun 2016
07 Jun 2016 20:25:55
Zlatan once visited the Virgin Islands, they are now The Islands.

9.) 07 Jun 2016
07 Jun 2016 20:28:17
Zlatan once fathered a child, the child was called "GOD".

10.) 07 Jun 2016
07 Jun 2016 20:35:48
Zlatan once went out for a bike ride and won the tour De France.

11.) 07 Jun 2016
07 Jun 2016 20:53:43
Zlatan once went to Mcdonalds and made a Happy meal cry.

12.) 07 Jun 2016
07 Jun 2016 20:59:30
A zlatan kick is the prefered method of execution in 172 countries.

13.) 07 Jun 2016
07 Jun 2016 21:02:26
Zlatan knows how to milk it but please don't go too far mate. you or any other player will ever be bigger than Manchester United Football Club.

14.) 07 Jun 2016
07 Jun 2016 21:06:38
When God created man, Zlatan was supervising.

15.) 07 Jun 2016
07 Jun 2016 21:15:34
The reason it is taking so long to announce is because Manchester United are moving to Zlatan.

16.) 07 Jun 2016
07 Jun 2016 21:21:12
Stoatweed
That one has to be the winner.
👍 Nice one 😂.

17.) 07 Jun 2016
07 Jun 2016 21:40:55
Some of them made me chuckle.

18.) 07 Jun 2016
07 Jun 2016 22:09:52
Zlatan once went sky diving and his parachute didn't open so the next day he took it back and got a refund.

19.) 07 Jun 2016
07 Jun 2016 23:17:37
Zlatan can kill 2 stones with 1 bird.

20.) 08 Jun 2016
08 Jun 2016 01:03:48
Zlatan understood the 'Philosophy'.

21.) 08 Jun 2016
08 Jun 2016 05:35:38
Zlatan wakes his alarm clock up.

22.) 08 Jun 2016
08 Jun 2016 06:36:04
Zlatan has already gone to Mars that is why there is no sign of life.

23.) 08 Jun 2016
08 Jun 2016 12:35:44
Reality is that Zlatan is basically a modern-day Cantona with Chuck Norris jokes.

24.) 08 Jun 2016
08 Jun 2016 13:27:33
I may lead a sad life, but, this thread has got to be one of the funniest I've even read!

Well played lads!

😂😂😂😂 still laughing now!

25.) 08 Jun 2016
08 Jun 2016 16:53:43
Not at all what I expected from the post, but highly enjoyable. Cheers.

26.) 09 Jun 2016
09 Jun 2016 16:10:02
Apparently he'd forfeit a bonus if he announces his next club before his current contract actually runs out. Hence the wait.