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07 Jun 2016 16:44:09
This was on the Telegraph live update webpage on Zlatan joining Manchester United. Not sure how reliable it is but I thought that I would share it.

Zlatan to Man Utd

3:14 pm Player arrives for United medical By which I mean Eric Bailly, the £30m-rated Ivorian defender from Villarreal. United doctors checking he's in decent nick will discover a bullish 22-year-old with great athleticism. All the better to be nutmegged in training every day by Zlatan.

Simmo1975

1.) 07 Jun 2016 19:04:51
Frankly, I'm getting a little p***ed off with Zlatan's little teases. I enjoy a joke, but am I alone in thinking he is beginning to border on the disrespectful?
He is going down in my estimation day by day. If he is planning to keep this up until end of the Euros, I don't think I would want him here.


2.) 07 Jun 2016 19:25:35
Zlatan once turned up late for training, the manager punished all the other players for coming in early.


3.) 07 Jun 2016 19:45:14
When Alexander bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from zlatan.


4.) 07 Jun 2016 19:54:45
I'm sure he will apologise for frustrating you when he signs dw
Just relax things will happen when they happen.
I don't think anybody even the best informed reporters know much about what United are up to so it's not worth your while trying to figure it out.


5.) 07 Jun 2016 20:05:32
Bare in mind nothing is, signed so he can't say he is coming to us. he is merely answering questions in a Zlatan type way.
It's why we want him. just be patient.


6.) 07 Jun 2016 20:13:38
Zlatan once kicked a horse in the chin. It's descendants were called giraffes.


7.) 07 Jun 2016 19:10:48
You'll find that hard to say when you have the first decent striker UTD will have had in years, honestly he will be the signing of the season- even better considering he's free.


8.) 07 Jun 2016 20:25:55
Zlatan once visited the Virgin Islands, they are now The Islands.


9.) 07 Jun 2016 20:28:17
Zlatan once fathered a child, the child was called "GOD".


10.) 07 Jun 2016 20:35:48
Zlatan once went out for a bike ride and won the tour De France.


11.) 07 Jun 2016 20:53:43
Zlatan once went to Mcdonalds and made a Happy meal cry.


12.) 07 Jun 2016 20:59:30
A zlatan kick is the prefered method of execution in 172 countries.


13.) 07 Jun 2016 21:02:26
Zlatan knows how to milk it but please don't go too far mate. you or any other player will ever be bigger than Manchester United Football Club.


14.) 07 Jun 2016 21:06:38
When God created man, Zlatan was supervising.


15.) 07 Jun 2016 21:15:34
The reason it is taking so long to announce is because Manchester United are moving to Zlatan.


16.) 07 Jun 2016 21:21:12
Stoatweed
That one has to be the winner.
👍 Nice one 😂.


17.) 07 Jun 2016 21:40:55
Some of them made me chuckle.


18.) 07 Jun 2016 22:09:52
Zlatan once went sky diving and his parachute didn't open so the next day he took it back and got a refund.


19.) 07 Jun 2016 23:17:37
Zlatan can kill 2 stones with 1 bird.


20.) 08 Jun 2016 01:03:48
Zlatan understood the 'Philosophy'.


21.) 08 Jun 2016 05:35:38
Zlatan wakes his alarm clock up.


22.) 08 Jun 2016 06:36:04
Zlatan has already gone to Mars that is why there is no sign of life.


23.) 08 Jun 2016 12:35:44
Reality is that Zlatan is basically a modern-day Cantona with Chuck Norris jokes.


24.) 08 Jun 2016 13:27:33
I may lead a sad life, but, this thread has got to be one of the funniest I've even read!

Well played lads!

😂😂😂😂 still laughing now!


25.) 08 Jun 2016 16:53:43
Not at all what I expected from the post, but highly enjoyable. Cheers.


26.) 09 Jun 2016 16:10:02
Apparently he'd forfeit a bonus if he announces his next club before his current contract actually runs out. Hence the wait.


 

 

20 May 2014 17:22:57
Yet another newspaper is reporting that the deal to bring Luke Shaw to United is 95 percent done. If that's true it would be a great start to the tranfer window. He's going to be a major talent.

Simmo1975

1.) Simmo me old mucka, where did you hear that one? I have heard the same from Stuart Mathieson. MU apparently are very confident and it should be announced shortly. Other sources saying it's just a formality now. I'll be interested to see how much we get him for. The figure in the media hasn't budged from £27m. So was it not a case of more money, but perhaps the pay structure?


2.) Sorry Syd I meant to say that the story was from Stuart Mathieson of the MEN.
Lets hope it's true mate?


3.) The Manchester based journalists know more than people like to think mate. It's certainly close, I can feel it in my bones :)


 

 

03 Mar 2014 10:28:19
Piece in the MEN today about the brother of Toni Kroos coming out and saying that Toni Kroos is considering a move to Manchester United in the summer.

Simmo1975

1.) Yes I read the same, I think his brother is very very keen on him coming here, whether that will be enough I don't know. Pairing him with Gundogan would be ideal if we follow through with interest in him. A 4-3-3 with a midfield of Gundogan, Kroos and Fellaini would be immense. Mata, Rooney and RVP or new striker ahead of them.


2.) No Janujaz Fresh?
I think that kid is going to outshine everyone in a 1-2 seasons.
Still i'm liking your team and formation.


3.) We want to get to the stage where we struggle to fit everyone in. In some games we need a 3 in the middle but often Gundogan and Kroos as a middle two would be plenty good enough.


4.) Still not convinced by Fellaini Fresh.
I don't think he's mobile enough for a 3 man midfield.


5.) I think he would be better in a 3 man midfield rather than a 2, he can be the anchor man that sits a lot. Alternatively of course we still have Carrick for that role.


6.) I think Carrick has seen better days to be honest, he's definately the wrong side of 30 and I think his displays this season have shown that.
I would keep for back up. squad player.


7.) I agree and think that Fellaini should get a chance.


 

 

24 Jan 2014 17:27:09
MEN are saying that the deal is not going to be done until Monday now.
Looks like were going to have to wait a bit longer.

Simmo1975

 

 

24 Jan 2014 13:43:57
Moyes will be at the Bayern game to watch Patrick Herrmann.

Simmo1975

{Ed002's Note - I would doubt he has any interest in Herrmann.}


1.) Ed, other than Dante, do you know if MU have any interest in any other BM player? Or a player from the team they are playing against? Thanks.

{Ed002's Note - Someone like Granit Xhaka you mean?}


2.) Exactly Ed, I did think this. We had an interest whilst he was at Basle didn't we.


3.) Personally I don't rate Xhaka. lots of rough edges and is far from the finished article. In terms of CMs of that age, Kondogbia, Koke and Clasie are better talents.


4.) 24 Jan 2014 15:34:06
Is it too much to hope its Shaqiri?


5.) Or Javi Matinez? he doesn't seem to figure too much in Pep's plans so far.


 

 

 

Simmo1975's banter posts with other poster's replies to Simmo1975's banter posts

 

06 Sep 2016 12:20:59
Anybody agree that Rashford has to start against City? I think his pace and power along with his willingness to take players on will really trouble the city defence which in my opinion is there weak spot.
Now for the big talking point. he's obviously not going to drop Rooney so if Rashford plays up top with Zlatan where does Rooney go?
Or another option is to put Rashford on the right instead of Mata?
Another big decision Jose is going to have to make is who plays next to Pogba now Fellaini is out. my pick would be Schneiderlin to play behind Pobga to try and break play up so pogba can get forward. What do we think?

Simmo1975

1.) 06 Sep 2016 12:56:05
Fellaini is fit to play for Belgium, so unlikely to be out at the weekend.

I would like to see Rashford play but as your post states it is difficult to know where he plays and who drops out, so not sure he HAS to start, coming on as an impact sub would also be an option if Jose wants to control the game more with Mata on the right.

I think this early in the season both teams would be fairly happy with a draw, but I would love to see us go for it and try and get the win, it will be an interesting game to see how we both set up, winning would be awesome but not losing is fine for both teams and that could affect how the game is played.


2.) 06 Sep 2016 13:04:28
Not sure I'd pick Rashford for the derby myself.

In the past both City and Pep have packed the midfield when Aguero (or Lewandowski/ Villa) has been out and played with a false 9. Playing two up top would leave us very light in midfield (especially with the City fullbacks coming into the middle of the pitch) and very vulnerable to Sterling's pace if he's able to get in behind.

Jose will definitely be looking to exploit the wing-back positions if Pep persists with pulling them into the center of the pitch during spells of possession and so I can see Lingard and Martial starting out wide for their pace. There's no way Zlatan or Pogba will be dropped - and as you say - Rooney looks incredibly likely to start too.

The only real question about our lineup is who will take Fellaini's place. Morgan and Ander are the obvious choices (Ander in particular) - but I can see Jose picking Carrick for his experience.


3.) 06 Sep 2016 13:07:12
Simmo is fellaini out. I saw a post here yesterday saying he would be fit?
I agree on rashford I'd love to see him start this one.
Miki is a big doubt so playing him on the right is a real option but Jessie is fit too so we might see him there.
I think its unlikely he will drop Rooney for this one.


4.) 06 Sep 2016 13:14:07
Rashford will be good to have on the bench and bring on as sub if we need him. We need the experience of Mata in this match.


5.) 06 Sep 2016 13:20:43
GDS2 - I think I would rather go with Schneiderlin as he is a bit more mobile than Fellaini. All though Fellaini isn't my favourite player has done ok in the first 3 games.
I think Martial has to step up to the plate on Saturday, he's been very disappointing so far.
I agree with you, I would love to see us go for it, we have the players to win it.
Just reading that Mkhitaryan still has a chance of being fit as well. He's going to be a class player for us over the season.


6.) 06 Sep 2016 13:32:35
I think we have to go for the win given that we are at home and Aguero is out.

Would love us to go all out attack and really put their defence under pressure I think if we do that we may concede but we would outscore them.

Perhaps start Rashford instead of Martial. Would love to see Miki on the right with Mata at 10 but I think we will see the same starting 11 again with Fellaini told to get in De Bruynes face and not let him get on the ball.


7.) 06 Sep 2016 13:36:01
It's a difficult one. When Rashford came off the bench against Hull he was very effective and won us the game. He would cause all sorts of trouble for them over 90 minutes.

Alternatively bringing him on off the bench against a tired back four could also be very effective.

Both Guardiola and Mourinho will perhaps set their teams out to defend first and play for a draw with either side hoping to get the winner. We've certainly seen this happen before.

Pogba could be key for us on Saturday. If anyone was to take control of the game it would be him. It would be great to see him destroy Toure if he plays.


8.) 06 Sep 2016 15:12:47
Always better to have a tricky pacy player run at a defence after they have tired out a bit. So i agree with the impact sub quip.
Redseven u really think Lingard has pace?


9.) 06 Sep 2016 15:49:43
there is a risk both teams will cancle each other out .
draw wouldn't be a bad result for either.


10.) 06 Sep 2016 16:31:24
I think this is a game crying out for Lingard.

City will play a pressing game, Mata would be a real danger of being caught in possession. He also doesn't have the pace or the work rate to match City's running. Also their system of getting the full backs to tuck infield will smother out the space he uses.

I would be tempted to go 433 in this one, pack the midfield, and have pace and work rate out wide. But I doubt that will happen. I expect us to play 4231 with Pogba and Fellaini holding the midfield with Rooney playing at No.10. I definately expect to see Lingard though if he's fit.


11.) 06 Sep 2016 16:38:46
shaps
good shout that, lingard makes sense.


12.) 06 Sep 2016 16:55:51
It will be interesting to see if Jose goes for it. History suggests he will try not to lose but it would be good to see him play for the win.


13.) 06 Sep 2016 17:54:06
Fellaini trained with Belgium. He should be fit.


14.) 06 Sep 2016 17:57:37
I would start Rashford, Stones is an accident waiting to happen. We need pace around them to capitalize, especially as it's going to be City with the ball. No point trying to counter attack with Rooney, Ibra and Mata all starting imo.


15.) 06 Sep 2016 17:53:45
I think Fellaini is fit and i can see JM starting him on Saturday.


16.) 06 Sep 2016 18:09:14
History says he wins more of these top v top games than he draws or loses in the epl.
A draw would not be a good result imo this is our home fixture we should be going all out to win it. They are missing arguably their best defender and best forward so for me a draw would not be a good result.


17.) 06 Sep 2016 18:22:57
Rashford just scored for u21's. I wouldn't say he "has" to start against City but I definitely want to see him and Ibra start together at some stage, I believe it could be a devastating combination. In terms of balance any 2 out of Martial, Mickey and Lingard would be good either side.


18.) 06 Sep 2016 18:30:36
A point might suit both teams as has been mentioned. I also agree that Rashford as an impact sub is a option that may have merit. Keep things tight for an hour then bring him on?


19.) 06 Sep 2016 18:48:10
I'd go Ibra top, Rashford right, Martial left and Rooney behind Ibra. Mata would be sub for me. Not sure Mkhitaryan will make it. But Lingard and Rashford would be well up for this being local lads and fearless. Both should play a part.

I'd play Schneiderlin with Pogba.


20.) 06 Sep 2016 19:10:58
"Fellaini has done ok in the first three games" lol

This is what I mean by people not being able to say he's played well, just because it's Fellaini.

IMO, he's only been behind Bailly and Toni, in his all round performances so far.


21.) 06 Sep 2016 21:18:44
Mbd - when compared with Mata, most certainly.


22.) 06 Sep 2016 21:55:06
Ken,

A draw would be better for city obviously because they are away from home, but unless you are assuming United and city will win every single game and only drop points against each other then a point wouldn't be a great result. I think in the scheme of the season a point in a big game this early on is absolutely fine.


23.) 07 Sep 2016 12:50:16
And Zlatan Noucamp99.


24.) 07 Sep 2016 13:19:20
fellaini played 84 minutes for belgium last night so should definately play on sat.


25.) 07 Sep 2016 09:31:32
RedSeven,
Then most certainly yes! Was thinking along the line of other wingers we have.


 

 

17 Jun 2016 10:32:11
After watching the first two France games Kante is a must buy for us. 23 million pound release clause he is a bargain
Fantastic at reading the game, lost count of how many interceptions he makes, very rarely gives the ball away. Reminds me of a certain Claude Makelele for real Madrid.
I really hope that he is a target of Jose's.

Simmo1975

 

 

10 May 2016 12:21:29
Renato Sanches and Hummels have both signed deal at Bayern Munich this morning. Good old Ed on the ball again. Probably too bust tying up a Noodle deal in Cambodia.

Simmo1975

1.) 10 May 2016 13:07:19
He's going to Cambodia once he completes the deal on kangaroo pies in brisbane.


2.) 10 May 2016 13:38:33
No I've just seen him on abc news completing a deal for sleeping pills in North Korea . LVG will be ecstatic 😆😆.


 

 

24 Jun 2015 12:02:22
All this Ramos talk is worrying, if we let DDG go and give Real Madrid a pocket full of money I will be pi**ed off.
There is no way in this world that he is worth 30-35 million plus DDG which is what them papers say. For god sake the guy is 29 years old. I just hope that's all it is paper talk.
All though we need a quality centre back we desperately need a top central midfielder and I am concerned that this position will be overlooked again. If Carrick gets injured we are completely lost, all though Herrera is very talented he relies on Carrick to play just in front of the centre backs so he can push forward and create, we all seen this last season when Carrick and Herrera played in the same team.
the central midfield area has been a major problem now for 5 seasons. maybe even longer and it needs addressing urgently.

Simmo1975

1.) 24 Jun 2015 12:44:53
You are right simmo. At 29 years old he will be useless to us in a years time. Far, far, far too old.


2.) 24 Jun 2015 13:39:57
Lets think then we need a centre back that has experience, leadership, is a winner, good at marking, tackling, heading, chuck some goals in and. wait you get Ramos DAMN IT!!


3.) 24 Jun 2015 13:41:03
JMB - he's too old now, let alone in a years time. If only he was a 16 year old.


4.) 24 Jun 2015 14:27:51
I agree Harry. 15 would be better actually.


5.) 24 Jun 2015 14:39:33
They might as well put Ramos out to pasture. At 29, he is well passed his sell-buy-date.



:O)


 

 

27 May 2015 14:11:48
I would rather spend 20-25 million on a certain Christian Benteke than spend 45-50 million pounds on Benzema.
In the right team (United)in my opinion this kid would score you a load of goals.
Add Gundogen and Otamendi and a decent right back, maybe Clyne and and i will be a very happy man.

Simmo1975

1.) 27 May 2015 14:41:57
I agree but i would like to see 2 midfielders. one CDM and one box to box.


2.) 27 May 2015 15:51:08
Benteke is not that good. He doesn't suit to the style of football that LVG has tried to make us play this season. There's no way he would succeed at United ( though I know there's no chance of him coming )


3.) 27 May 2015 17:07:55
Would much prefer Berahino.


4.) 27 May 2015 17:12:14
Prefer The west Brom Boy.


5.) 27 May 2015 17:30:31
Can you honestly give me a valid reason why Benteke isn't good Sailor. You don't just say "he isn't that good" without a reason.
Why wouldn't he fit in to the united side. have a think how many points we dropped this season by not finishing games off without a proper out and out striker.
Benteke is easily good enough to play on his own up front with three behind and two holding midfielders, he is perfect for united. He's got great control, loads of pace to burn and is a top finisher. He's also superb in the air and he's only 24.
On Berahino, for me he's not as good as Benteke, Benteke's all round game is much better plus Berahino has serious attitude problems off the pitch.


6.) 27 May 2015 18:17:28
Simmo benteke is good for long ball approach, he is strong in the air and can bully defenders but he doesn't suit an approach where a team keeps a lot of possession. He can't run in behind defenders even though he is fast but just doesn't have those instincts. He can't beat defenders by skill and isn't that good in giving the final ball if he's in box and he has to find someone else. Now is not the time to take in such a player and teach him these things, I'd rather go for a finished article. If we go for a long ball approach mixed with countinous crossing from the wings then benteke and fellaini would be a formidable team up front but fans wouldn't like to see that.


7.) 28 May 2015 12:32:05
Sailor. you obviously haven't watched Benteke this season then if you think that all he's good for is a long ball.
He is great on the ball and can use both feet.
You say he can't beat a man. are you serious?
One of his goals i remember him picking the ball up from the half way line and beating 4-5 players and sliding it in to the corner of the net.
Sorry mate your way off with your analysis!


 

 

 

Simmo1975's rumour replies

 

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28 Jul 2016 16:08:27
Wazza. i'm as real as they come.
I have no problem with the three signings made at such an early stage, it was good business.
My problem is paying fat cats like Mino Raiola 20 million pounds to sit on his fat arse and hold a club like our's to ransom. If your happy with that then good on ya!

Simmo1975

 

 

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28 Jul 2016 11:29:48
The whole saga is boring me to death.
We should of done our business early and bought Kante and Miralem Pjanic snd still had change from 100 million.

Simmo1975

 

 

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20 Jun 2016 15:27:24
Henrikh Mkhitaryan is being looked at for the right side.

Simmo1975

 

 

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15 Jun 2016 10:12:03
I hope it's Varane rather than Stones.
The price that's being banded around for Stones at the moment is frightening.
Lots of potential but doesn't mean he's going to fulfil it.
every time I have watched him this season he's had a shocker.

Simmo1975

 

 

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10 Jun 2016 09:33:58
Well overrated. I agree with RedAndy94, every time I have watched him this season he's been dreadful.
Lots of potential but I wouldn't waste 35-40 million on him when you could probably get a world class centre back in Varane for that sort of price.

Simmo1975

 

 

 

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09 Sep 2016 15:29:16
Shappy - Miki is fit and I would have him or Mata over Lingard any day of the week. I would even take Rashford over Lingard on the right.
I didn't say he doesn't work hard off the ball, he always gives 100% but he has no influence on games.

Simmo1975

 

 

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09 Sep 2016 10:24:17
I wouldn't play Lingard.
He doesn't have any influence on games and there are far better options than him.
(please don't mention the FA Cup Final goal. it could of been anyone)

Simmo1975

 

 

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06 Sep 2016 13:20:43
GDS2 - I think I would rather go with Schneiderlin as he is a bit more mobile than Fellaini. All though Fellaini isn't my favourite player has done ok in the first 3 games.
I think Martial has to step up to the plate on Saturday, he's been very disappointing so far.
I agree with you, I would love to see us go for it, we have the players to win it.
Just reading that Mkhitaryan still has a chance of being fit as well. He's going to be a class player for us over the season.

Simmo1975

 

 

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15 Jul 2016 17:14:01
herefordred - sport on mate, that would of been the first player I would of gone for. Belting player, great engine, great tackler, reads the game really well and is a very good passer. I don't understand why we didn't grab him straight away and the price tag is a snip as well.

Simmo1975

 

 

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08 Jul 2016 16:55:49
I would sooner spend the money on Kroos and Kante.

Simmo1975